Chasing

A few weeks ago I wrote about comparison (2 min read).

Someone recently asked me the kind of question that really stops you in your tracks, and it was related to comparison.

First, a short backstory.

***

I've mentioned before that I love rowing. Specifically indoor rowing.

I fell in love with this after watching the 2020 olympics (in 2021) and seeing the Canadian Women's team capture a gold medal in the 2K team race. It was beautifully inspiring.

I have been rowing and trying to get better at it ever since that summer.

Very recently, a friend of mine got an indoor rower as well.

He asked me for some advice before getting one, he came over and I showed him a thing or two on mine, and a few days later, he got his own.

I went over to his place last weekend and spent a little over an hour with him attempting to show and teach him everything I had learned over the past four years.

Note: If you attempt to condense four years into an hour, you'll likely miss some things.

Showing him all of those things was an extremely rewarding experience. It brought me genuine joy to see him experience the kinds of insights I had, on the same machine I have.

Shortly after I spent this hour with him, he sent me a picture of some of his stats.

They were incredibly impressive for someone who had just started rowing a few days prior.

And this dropped me instantly into the comparison trap.

***

I began asking myself questions like, "If this person can get these kinds of results after such a short period of time, what on earth have I been doing over the past four years?"

The comparison trap isn't a very kind place to take up residence.

In my never-ending pursuit to find ways out of this trap, I ended up talking to someone I deeply trust about it.

That's when they posed the question that stopped me in my tracks.

***

Like a fool, I didn't actually write the question down. I was too busy letting it slap me in the face.

What I'm recalling to you here is the essence of the question.

They asked, "When it comes to rowing (or fitness more broadly), what does excelling in that look like for you?"

As they asked this question, I had an instant reaction.

I was repelled by the question.

I realized that I had in fact been asking myself a similar question, and at the same time, that is absolutely the wrong question to ask.

I don't row because I'm chasing excellence.

What does excellence even mean? Who defines that?

The comparison trap loves the idea of excellence.

When you're in the comparison trap, excellence has a reference point. It's the other person.

Excellence simply means being better than them.

***

I row (and exercise more broadly) because of fulfillment. The act is the reward.

Chasing fulfillment feels very different than chasing excellence.

Fulfillment is a deeply personal feeling. You and only you can define it.

By its nature, it can have no comparison. Every moment of fulfillment is unique.

Asking yourself what you're chasing is one more way to climb out of the comparison trap.

Next time you're there, try it.