The Last Time

This summer, after over 40 years of being a pilot, my Dad flew his last flight.

My brother and I got to be in the cockpit with him. For the entire flight.

This was an experience I will remember for the rest of my life, and in this post, I want to reflect on it.

***

I have been on a plane that my Dad has flown before.

A few times, actually.

Until a few weeks ago, I had never been inside the cockpit to watch him fly one.

I could choose to talk about many, many different aspects of that experience, but I want to focus on just one:

His last landing.

***

When was the last time you knew you were doing something for the last time?

This is totally a thing we can know, and also, a thing we may not realize until it's too late.

When we know it's the last time, I think the part of us that wishes we could pause time, turns on.

Since we can't really do that, I think our senses just become more alive.

We may attempt to capture the moment artificially somehow, but we know that will at best be a fragment of the truth.

So what do we do, when it's the last time?

***

His last descent was tricky.

It was a gusty morning, and the plane felt like it was on a swing.

There comes a moment on all descents where the pilot flying chooses to disconnect the autopilot and take control of the aircraft.

There are certain guidelines for when that moment should be, but ultimately it comes down to pilot judgement.

I will never forget the moment when my Dad turned to his Co-Pilot and said, "Ok, I'll disconnect and fly, ok?"

His Co-Pilot responded with a simple (and very often repeated in a cockpit), "Check."

Why did he pick that particular moment? I guess over 40 years of experience told him that was it.

I tried to ask him about it later when we watched the landing that my brother captured on film, but like I said before, it was a fragment of the real thing, and his answer was equally fragmented. How do you explain 40 years of finely-tuned judgement to someone who asks?

In my head, my Dad was (and still is) the best pilot in the world.

Anyone who is lucky enough to have a pilot for a parent would say the same thing, naturally.

His last landing was flawless.

In aviator terms, a greaser or buttering the bread.

If anyone knows they are doing something for the last time, a thing they've been doing for practically their entire life, they will all want an ending like that. It may not always happen that way, but I am sure they will all want it to.

***

So what do we do when it's the last time?

We pay attention.

We trust that our heads, hands, and hearts, already know what to do because of the accumulation of moments that have led to that last moment.

We use all the senses we have available to us to capture what all the technology available to us cannot.

And finally, when we know the time is right, we disconnect, and we land.